These 10 tips can give you a quick way to ease your daily load of stress and frustration
In life, there will be painful realities we can’t avoid. The anguish of losing a loved one, the suffering of chronic pain, or the uncertainty of losing a job are just a few.
The only way around these challenges is through them—ideally with the love and support of a close friend or family member.
But there are many inconveniences and frustrations that we put up with, never realizing that we actually have a choice in the matter.
We live as if these things “just happen” to us, but in fact, we make choices every day that reinforce their occurrence and fan the flames of their power.
The vast majority of stress I’ve experienced in my life, and perhaps your life, too, falls into this category.
It might not be easy, and the results may not be instantaneous, but our choices inevitably set the direction and momentum of our lives—as well as the burden of our daily stress.
If stress is keeping you from enjoying your life, you might be encouraged to hear that a calmer path can be within reach.
From years of observation and experimentation, here are the 10 pieces of advice that have most helped me to reduce stress.
10 Tips to Reduce Stress (and Choose Calm)
Be Obsessively Single-Minded
Life was meant to be lived one moment at a time. We can almost always handle the present moment with ease. It’s only when we try to carry the weight of the current task and the next one, along with the uncertainty of a future outcome, that the load becomes stressful. Don’t bother with all that. Focus on what’s in front of you.
Recalibrate Your Expectations
Much of our stress is because the world (or people) aren’t the way we want them to be. But ask yourself what’s easier: to get the world to change or simply to change what you expect? That doesn’t mean you can’t work toward a better future, only that you accept the current reality as a starting point.
Embrace the Inherent Uncertainty of Life
The more you try to control life, the more you realize how fragile your control really is. We don’t know what the future holds, and we often can’t tell which choice will be better. Instead of fighting this reality, accept uncertainty as an ingredient for adventure. You’ll make the “wrong” choice from time to time. Such is life.
Build an Identity That Isn’t Fragile as Glass
Do you see yourself as a high-achiever, maybe smarter and more successful than the “average” person? Be careful! When you build your sense of self in that way, you’ll resent and fear anything which threatens that identity. Value yourself for something more intrinsic than your accomplishments.
Strictly Limit Whose Opinions You Care About
One load we don’t need to carry is the weight of everyone’s expectations. You simply can’t please everyone or be at your best every second of the day. One way I push against this while trying to stay humble is by limiting my concern to the opinions of those who really know me.
Don’t Let Your Emotional Fuel Tank Run Empty
When I’m over-tired, hungry, and haven’t had any time to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, I’m much more likely to stress over life’s daily challenges. Keeping my emotional tank filled and my energy levels topped up means my tolerance for frustration is much higher across the board.
Cut Out Rumination at the First Sign
Excessive thinking and worrying about a topic is a sure path to stress. Sometimes the stress leads to rumination, but for me, it’s just as often the other way around. While it isn’t easy to redirect your thoughts, it’s possible with consistent effort. Don’t just tell yourself to stop thinking about something, distract yourself with another activity that demands your full attention.
Make Progress in Key Areas a Priority
Most of my stress occurs when I feel stuck for long periods of time. By then, my lack of progress is mixed with guilt and frustration for not getting back on track sooner. The solution is hard but simple: Don’t let a day go by when you aren’t making progress in the areas that matter most to you. No matter how imperfect or small that progress may be, it’ll go a long way in holding the stress at bay.
Don’t Let Yourself Get Addicted to Comfort
Another stressor in life is the fear of losing something you can’t imagine living without. Are you addicted to comfort and ease? Then, of course, you’ll feel stressed by anything that might keep you from your pleasures. A healthy way to counterbalance this effect is by regularly doing hard things in order to remind yourself of what you’re capable of.
Allow a Friend to Share Your Burdens
I’ve consistently experienced that sharing my stress with someone who cares about me lightens the load. I can’t explain this except that getting my thoughts outside of my own head helps to give me a new and better perspective on the matter. And sometimes that’s all I need.