How many times have you resolved to change something about your life only to give up after a few weeks—in spite of detailed plans and gushing motivation?
Change is hard. And, like many things, it’s even harder to achieve on our own. But, as it turns out, we have an invisible actor working behind the scenes that plays a huge role in our habits—for better or worse. It’s our unconscious mind.
By learning to collaborate with this hidden partner, studies show we can better achieve the transformations that seem impossible through willpower alone.
Think It Takes 21 Days to Form a Habit? Think Again
The common belief is that habits form in 21 days. However, research suggests otherwise. A 2012 paper in the British Journal of General Practice traced the 21-day figure to plastic surgery patients adjusting to their new appearance.
A 2009 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology provides a clearer picture. Tracking 96 participants, it found that the average time to achieve “automaticity”—when actions become automatic, requiring little conscious effort—was 66 days. The range, however, was 18 to 254 days.
A study published in the British Journal of Health Psychology in 2021 roughly corroborated the number, finding that participants achieved peak automaticity at a median figure of 59 days.
The Conscious Versus the Unconscious Mind
The mind is complex, and there are different models to describe how it operates. In a common current view, it’s said the conscious self handles analytical, linear thinking and the ego experiences consciousness. The ego is the “I” that experiences awareness, according to Dr. Daniel Lieberman, psychiatrist and author of “Spellbound: Modern Science, Ancient Magic, and the Hidden Potential of the Unconscious.”
In contrast, the unconscious is mysterious—it’s the part we can’t directly control, Dr. Lieberman told The Epoch Times.
“You can make a spreadsheet, you can drive to the grocery store. Those are in your control,” he said. “[But] you can’t make yourself have creative ideas. Those come from the unconscious,” he said.
Pure willpower can’t drive lasting change. This may explain why most people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions. A 2019 YouGov poll found that only 7 percent stuck to all resolutions and 19 percent to some. Fitness app Strava saw most people quit exercising goals by the second Friday of January, a day dubbed “Quitter’s Day.”
When it comes to habits, many believe that it’s the unconscious that drives long-term behavior. Fortunately, the conscious mind appears to have a critical influence over the unconscious.
When Habits Take Over
Consciously deciding to adopt a habit carves neural pathways in the unconscious mind, according to a model of mind described in a 2017 scientific review in Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences that outlines how the brain favors automaticity.
An automatic response happens without active involvement of consciousness, leading the prefrontal cortex, the brain region responsible for higher-level cognitive functions, to activate established patterns rigidly and repetitively, according to the review.
As a result, unconscious patterns can override intentions, winning out over conscious will.
Despite the focus on goals and intent for habit change, evidence suggests that engaging the unconscious is more effective.
A 2011 report of two studies published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that contextual cues trumped goal-setting.
And a 2006 meta-analysis of 47 experiments published in Psychological Bulletin concluded that intentionality has a limited effect on actual behavior change. “Future behavior change efforts might do well to give greater consideration to nonintentional routes to action,” the authors wrote.
To achieve lasting change, Dr. Lieberman suggests a two-part approach: engage the unconscious “animal” side and the “divine” side by connecting with a higher purpose.
Training Our Inner Animal
To train our inner unconscious “animal,” Dr. Lieberman said consistency and ritual are key. He emphasized patience because humans learn some things the same way animals do—through repetition.
A 2015 study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that exercising four days a week for six weeks established a habit, facilitated by simple routines and positive outlooks.
“I can’t say, ‘Well, every day, I’ll look at my schedule and choose when I’m free.’ That’s not going to work,” Dr. Lieberman said. Wear the same gym clothes and do the same exercises every day but add the kinds of things animals respond to—such as rewards—as much as possible, he added. “When you’re training animals, you always give them the same treat.”
However, some negative reinforcement helps. Dr. Lieberman described the “least reinforcing syndrome,” a training technique by which dolphin trainers stand still after a mistake, careful not to respond. Any response fuels behavior, but no response lets it die.
“You punish the animal, but you punish the animal only by withholding rewards,” Dr. Lieberman said. “If you don’t go to the gym … don’t allow yourself to watch your favorite show on Netflix.”
Building a habit is one thing; breaking one is harder. To address the issue, Dr. Lieberman recommended reversing the protocol—reward yourself for resisting a bad habit, even halfway through a day. Watch Netflix or save up for a treat when you don’t smoke or eat unhealthy foods.
Divine Intervention
Although working with our inner animal helps, connecting to a higher power can achieve deeper unconscious integration, whether through traditional religion or secular meditation.
“That divine side of the unconscious tends to be very unpredictable. Artists never know when they’re going to be inspired. Scientists never know when they’re going to be inspired. Intuition comes and goes,” Dr. Lieberman said.
Alcoholics Anonymous taps into addicts’ relationship with a higher power to overcome alcoholism. A 2016 empirical studies review in the Journal of Religion and Health showed that participants who feel God’s presence daily and believe in a universal spirit have better outcomes for cravings and distress.
Self-affirmation through focus on a valued self-concept, such as being an honest person, increased physical activity and positivity, according to research published in 2014 in the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology. Affirmation is used by some people as a way of communicating with their unconscious, integrating distinct but strongly intertwined halves.
Religious practice facilitates implicit unconscious self-regulation, versus explicit conscious regulation, a 2010 review of 30 independent experiments published in Personality and Social Psychology Review found.
There is also research, published in 2003 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggesting that religious concepts unconsciously helped people exercise self-control against temptation because they were slower in recognizing temptation-related words.
Religiosity may enable an integrative, embodied, whole-person focused self-regulation that explains religious individuals’ frequent greater well-being.
The Inner Committee
If behaviors flow from habits, we must become the architects of our routines. When setting goals such as healthy eating, the ego tells the unconscious to change.
“The ego’s pretty unified,” Dr. Lieberman said. “The unconscious—there’s many, many voices down there.”
Pure willpower won’t establish habits long-term—we must work with these voices: our internal motivations.
This “committee” doesn’t respond to dictates. It responds better to inquiring about our own drives, outlining an enjoyable framework with consistent ritual, and tapping into a higher power to invigorate our efforts.